my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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