how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
