I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
