I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
