I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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