I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Bring me that man meat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
