ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
