New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
