You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
