Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
