I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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