just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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