grandma shit on top of the toilet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
