Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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