I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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