yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
