I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
