a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize