So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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