Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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