Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i now understand why vodka
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
