Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
