haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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