Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
