i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
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