just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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