This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
