Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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