I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
