Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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