As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were trust falling into bushes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
