Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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