Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize