When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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