what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
