Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
