I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Naked Twister starts at high noon
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
