This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
