Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
