is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize