using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
