We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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