All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
