just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
