i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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