dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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