Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
