Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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