He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize