why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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