just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
