Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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