you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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