Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She announced her abortion via fbk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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