He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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