so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
