I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
