then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
