Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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